It's never cold in Finland

When I was a Bar Tender I met two men from Finland. It was a cold windy night in Dallas Texas. No snow because after all, we only get that white powder falling from the sky twice a year… Did I just say white powder ? What am I smoking? It’s more like chips of dirty ice hitting hard, turning into slush and transforming highways and streets into sheets of ice, great for ice-skating but who wants to go there during traffic hour? Texans that drive trucks think they can ride through the ice like if it was kattle running through Fort Worth’s dirt roads on a nice crisp day. They don’t care.
Let’s get back to the Finish gentlemen at my bar shall we? The two men from Finland sat in front of the main door and every time it opened, a gush of cold air would come in and head straight to the Finish men (I like Finish people because I get the opportunity to ask “Are you finish?”) I finally asked them if they wanted to move to avoid the cold air and I followed that with “I am sure it’s not that cold to you because you come from Finland”. Sven (sounds like a good name for a Finish man) turned to me and said “its Neverhhh cold in Finland” (I love accents). Since one of my favorite subjects is Geography I responded “Yes it is. Finland in in the northernmost point, the sun does not set for 73 consecutive days during summer, and does not rise at all for 51 days during winter (I knew some day I would use that line I learned from reading the encyclopedia Britanica). No sun, no warmth darling” “No Jen, It never gets cold in Finland... It’s what you wear that makes you cold”. Since then I always use that phrase…

Just 3 days ago, a friend of mine who moved from New London CT. to Dallas TX 2 years ago said “Just think, it’s always 20 degrees colder Connecticut” even though nor the Finish or the Connecticut theory make me feel better about the weather or their cheer-me-uppers makes me warmer or changes the fact that in acutuality it is cold and windy. It is the Fall season you know? There is one thing that does get me warm and cozy and that is a hot cup of coffee with Amaretto or a warm Glogg (it’s Swidish drink made with wine, vodka, clove, raisins and almonds mmmm nice and warm... Drink 3 cups of those and BAM! The cold is g-o-n-e, if it doesn’t get you warm at least you’ll be too drunk to feel anything. Believe me folks, I know what I am talking about, my Mother assigned me to make it every Thanksgiving and.. well… I had to taste it every time. Sometimes one too many cups. Too bad I don't have wine or vodka but I do have coffee and Tylenol PM would that work for now? It would but not today... I'll get used to the once-a-year Fall season ... I've been through it 48 years in a row.. It's nice isn't it? Nice crisp air, get to wear my sweaters and my leather jacket, ENJOY the cold people!!! Come on! The planet might just melt one day and we'll miss that slush ice going down the highways.. Will we? I think I will..